tragic! no?

Tasting the sweet nectar on your lips coated candy sweet .the glint in your eyes drives my heart to skip from its socket running three miles in a minute. My eyes  roams around searching for a Romeo , a soul mate to fill the missing beat from love failures of my life. Writing love songs that never happens searching for someone to fill that hole within . The more I tried I feel ashamed searching for a needle in a haystack I might be  a donkey lost in the pack.

Now please tell me what to do I’m stubborn and  a rebel too. Wanting to write something that procured from my diminutive understanding having an amnesia, of  forgotten faces masked each time we met ….oh such a tragic fate ! tasting love so sweet only  to end up  feeling betrayed.

In the end blaming my amnesia of forgotten faces that seemed to change minute by minute .I t must  have been  the medicine I”ve  taken  when I try to spill  them on my mouth to end my life to oblivion  when I was only 18 ,only to end up my stomach rumbling and tumbling in confusing roar.

Faces  that seemed to eclipse , mingled with the sudden switch and closing of a window the minute it’s there the second I could not open or manage to get  another stare.

Oh such a tragic fate!  …to feel love but end up feeling betrayed.

You are there and I am here you seem so near but so far away.Trying the touch you but I can’t .

You’re only an apparition standing there like a cloaked man  holding a scythe in  his hand killing my soul within the  fraction of a second . Holding my soul in your hand for a while I’m enslaved ready to do what you command.

A goofy  ball  doped and love struck lost in the world of illusions.Like a fallen angel from heaven ensnared and suffer in hell.

Drown to someone I can’t  touch nor I can’t have all  that was left are faded  memories of those faces  that seemed to intermingle  and change all of a sudden. The game they played  that rend  my soul to pieces the truth is hard to accept and I asked for it to be part of the game it’s a shame what I’m looking out there are good friends. I’ve found one  the best man among the rest who never take advantage of my vulnerable state.

I played my part in it ….my feelings are real but It might be the hypnosis or am I being possessed?

I was never yours no one else did….I write love songs and poetry inspired by strangers with masked nameless faces . A second of bliss that moment when I forget who I was , Who I am. That fared me to an adventure something that I could not ask for but learned to accept the realities of life. In my caged and restricted world  the marked  truth of my human existence, opened my eyes to the blatant truth , I realized my hands were  tied and I’m not supposed to cry ….for my sins in the past.

The sinister smile that was lost and gone ,in seconds the doors are close the windows   are forever shut ,this home where my soul resides have been corrupted for life. In misery and disgust my soul clothed in mud , in the mire I lie. losing  that childlike  innocence of my heart    that consumes my life. There was a time when a devil paid a visit the sinister feeling of being possessed by an idea  than can  make my life greater than what was,. That  was the price but now, I’ve waken from the truth of my foolishness.

I learned to accept that there’s nothing I can do  depending on my strength without the help of friends.

All things in the world are temporary things the minute it’s within your grasp the seconds there’s nothing there everything’s a fantasy or illusion.You’ll accept that there’s nothing there but the beautiful words woven from that poetic mystical verses web and weave magically driven by the musical fantasy creating a legacy for a lifetime of memory .

This is something I confess my heart was lost in the miry clay of doom sold my soul for the sake of art and freedom of expression.

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. cicorm · November 9, 2015

    We can improve our lives, Franz! However, it takes accepting ourselves, facing reality (getting rid of illusions), humility and hard work. As we become grounded in reality, appreciative of blessings and self sufficient (happy), we will be less taken advantage of by the false, and less disaster will occur. A virtuous cycle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • franz · November 9, 2015

      i’ll try that ….yes , there’s nothing better than sleeping with a clean conscience at night and doing what is right . is the best to have in life . Thanks , Tom.I’m thankful and blessed and happier now…I try getting rid that crippling fear and psychological trauma that I suffered lately. I’ve been through that cycle now… I’ll try to face another challenge working hard to do better with writing . I really want to work but I found out that I’m lacking in everything so, I study a bit of something what I can grab. I raelly want being coached but I have no money or am not financially stable at the moment. I find out that it’s better to focus on one thing first before stepping on different ventures at the same time .Thanks for the inspiring message I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s