deliverance

After my two weeks stay with my Aunt with whom I have a great time going out into town. She’s my guardian, the one with whom I can shed my tears of frustrations with.

My desire for writing was so great but I don’t feel good enough. My family problem is dragging me down to nervous break down so, I stopped in my silent solitude to find balance in my life. I have dreams and ambitions but everything seems so hard to grasp. Without the support and encouragement of the first person with whom you trust first. It’s very painful, when that person makes undue accusations and brandishing my  name in public places hurting people around you and shaming me . It’s very painful how he ruined me without evidence.   In return I changed. I was no longer the same.  I  was angry instead of shouting back at him I packed my clothing and ran away from home.

Going with my Aunt who is a pastor she gives me insightful reflections over my situation. Yes, I forgot I have children to take care with and who badly needs my time and assistance.  That’s  what really matters now. We make compromises and he accept his mistakes he was very sorry . I can feel that he really change but, what saddens me most is the change of my feelings for him. Am  I,  a machine incapable of feelings?

We live almost practically apart because of his work the reason that we barely know each other fully well…. he works abroad straight for five years and the commotion of our  marital troubles  fuels our misunderstanding . I  prayed for guidance and enlightenment many prayed for me too and I was glad that my problems was  solve.

At last, I found peace. I’m free to write and express myself and he allow me to open a new business . Great right!

But, I was sad by the fact because I let people down dragging them  down along with me.  I was unreliable and someone you can’t depend on. Moving on, let go and build again is very hard but somehow, I’ll try to rise once again making my mistakes a learning experience.  Family problems really put me to the brink of despair I can’t solve all my problems at once. I have to tackle them one by one to make my  life a bit brighter than before. Now, I can see rainbows in Word press as the hopes in me adds up.

I go out renew my connection with my immediate family , done soul searching and deep inner reflections in my life that was lost over my husbands mean and diabolical attitude the rift between us become so great that it’s

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2 comments

  1. colinandray · June 29, 2015

    It is very smart for you to focus on one problem at a time. It is also very smart to focus on all the things you do have, rather than things you do not have. God will help you but you have to recognize that help when it appears. You are very lucky to have an Aunt with such deep religious convictions. Take care. You are in our prayers.

    Like

  2. cote8050 · June 29, 2015

    I will continue to pray for you my friend but you sound like you are on your way, the journey is always hard! much love and peace to you!!

    Like

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