an apology to you all

 

 

Sorry, for an uncalculated outburst in my post” WHEN YOU SAY HOW FAR IS ENOUGH “. It wasn’t meant to hurt anyone or anybody at WordPress it’s a family issue a great misunderstanding between me and my husband.  A breach that is hard to put out .It’s an issue of trust, honor , love and respect I guess we’re losing that part of our relationship , he was just being selfish and don’t know how to love.

Have you read  about David and Abigail? in the old t testament? Well he was just like Nabal her husband. Hard to stress further but I want to clear the issue since I noticed

many of you visited my site thank you imagesangel2but it saddened me because you think of me as an immature , unprofessional and emotional blogger. I was just very hurt with his actions of tearing everything that makes me happy. I choose not to work , stay at home to please him to be there at his beck and call .I don’t go out alone not to arise suspicion living with his family and relatives here while his working outside the country for more than 4 years now. I know it’s hard to sacrifice for the family’s  needs.

We are  living practically apart for over 20 years of marriage ,our’s is a long distance relationship  from the start. We are always apart in addition, marriage without courtship makes it hard for us to compromise.Since, he is always the one who makes decision while I was the passive one by not trying to struggle and fight so as not to arise misunderstandings.

I lost control because of his domineering , manipulative, strict and restraining  attitude . He never ask for what I want because he knows that he is always right. There never a day that we are not fighting of course he’s always the first initiating quarrels.

I guess, there’s no more ways to save my marriage if we live together again he treats  me like a retarded kid with physical and verbal attracts. I’m sorry shaming myself this much is already breaking my heart but I want you to understand that I tried  very haard to understand him and keep my cool.B ut I guess ….I too have a breaking point. I guess, I have to give  myself a breathing space .My  marital situation’s  scored 16;20 .  from bad to worst . I’ve gone too far …..revealing too far….but I need to let go of my pent-up emotions when all of you are concerned.  SORRY…. I’m not picking quarrel with anyone here or harboring   grudge to anyone or anybody.

I guess , I should not let him have my fb password but he asked for it so how can I refute? I lost my friends, my face and I was being  dismembered by the group by his name-calling my superiors. When your hubby don’t want you to create an interest of your own even petty subject such as aerobic workout or reading a book makes him angry with me. When he’s gone too far it’s not the first time that he do it messing and breaking everything that  you try to put up as the source of your happiness and probably a simple way to pass the boredom and mundane everyday chores .Along with the big and important subject in my life trying to cripple me and let me live in isolation. What shall You do?

 

 

 

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14 comments

  1. Yuriy Ku (Drop) · March 13, 2015

    In such situations I would not ask to show me or to tell me what a woman thinks until she herself wants to. It’s an emotional abuse. Even within a marriage people stay alone. They start to have their own secrets once something’s going wrong in their relationships. It happens sooner or later. It can not be simply stopped by order. These are broken relationships that can be hardly mended. What to do? Either to stay in the family but only if one stops to oppress and live your own life, or leave if there is a place where to go. Neither of them seem to be fully acceptable but there’s no alternative, alas. Do not low you self-estimation because you are not immature and the like. Be brave. Don’t be afraid of ‘dismembering’ (it’s a wrong and coward practice I think). I would refute. I’m a rebel. : ) But I’m a man. And delete this comment if you think it can bring harm to you.

    Like

    • franz · March 13, 2015

      thank you for an insightful comment, this post has it’s purpose and thank you .I really appreciate your thoughts in my personal issues .

      Like

  2. Yuriy Ku (Drop) · March 13, 2015

    I know it has its certain, personal purpose and meaning which is very delicate and frustrating. Therefore they don’t want to intrude into it rudely. I suppose I didn’t. Just a piece of mind from a distant dweller on this planet.

    Like

    • franz · March 14, 2015

      Thank you that you care so much about my situation I really appreciate it.Looking forward for great transformation over my situation.I know your advice and point if view is derived how evryone feels about this matter . Thank you so much for helping me to clear my mind and assess my situation.

      Like

  3. bakit ganun sana nman hwag n hwag kng magcinungaling s asawa mo pra hindi k nya paghigpitan s kilos mo o s galaw mo dahil para lagi mmo pigsisinungalingan s pakiramdam nya dapat honest k nman asawa mo bakit k laging sinungalin s kanya

    Liked by 2 people

    • franz · March 14, 2015

      sweetheart you think that I am not honest with you we always talk everyday …you see me everyday. i live with your family if I go out am with your sister or a family what should I hide with you? If I lied to you about us and the children going to church if we go places doing seminars or reach out I am with them always. the people here in your place knows what I have done. If my mistake is nt telling you that we are born again christian already which is none of your approval what did you do? You suppress me , us and the kids where all I was hoping for them to live in the light and the glory of God. You know that I am a very spiritual person from the start . I thought it’s ok with you me being a born again christian because when ate sylvia came to visit here we look for a church wherewith to be a member you did not say a thing I am already a orn again christian before we are married and take note am a secretary in our community and been teaching children ministry.If I told you then would you approve? of course not until now you are still oppressing us and controllig us.I fail to tell you about the business I am with? you know why?because, you always tell me that mukha akong pera pinagmamalaki mo sa akin ang pera mo nasaktan ako ng sobra eversince di ako naging maluho sa katawan hinahanapan mo ak pero may dalawang kolehiyo tayo at mga studyante the burden of budgetting is on my shoulders you just give us the money and brag and boast afterwards ok I understand di ba lagi naman akong nasa tabi mo pero ang pambabastos mo at kawalang respeto sa akin at walang pagpahalaga sa aking pakatao sa pagsira sa integriad ko bilang isang tao many times before despite giving you all the access of my passwords is it right? Don’t I have any rights to decide what is rigt for me and the kids. sobra na asawa you have done it countless times and it’s tearing me apart the pain in my heart is so much to bear please let’s end it here . gusto ko malaman mo ang lahat i try to be honest with you but you never give me a chance to listen to me nor ask if it’s ok with me deciding on matters with your family i am your wife did I have every rights to know your plans? bbut you did not include me you only think of yourself in all your plans implementing and not asking me to sit down and weight the matters at hand alam na na lagi naman tama ang assessment ko pero sinusunod kita parati kc ayoko ng away.

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  4. Trudy · March 14, 2015

    I don’t find the need to vent immature, in fact it is the opposite. You did it in a respectful way and its necessary to keep your sanity. It sounds like an abusive, controlling situation from your description and it’s tearing you apart. There’s no love in being controlled and having the things that make you happy taken away.

    Like

    • franz · March 14, 2015

      thanks for understanding sometimes ….I must need drastic measures to change my situation if not I will suffer for a lifetime.Come what may I believe things will turn out right am a complete mess anger sometimes ruin evrything but thankful though because I already have the courage to stand my ground.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Trudy · March 15, 2015

        That’s the most important part, you still have courage because you will need it.

        Like

  5. Caroline · March 16, 2015

    You are not immature. I felt like you were telling about my life and marriage. Emotional abuse – I so badly wanted “the fairy tale” ending that my prince loved me as much as I loved him that I allowed the abuse for 30 plus years. My husband was so wonderful in public, people liked him very much; in private a very different story. Finally at age 45 I went to college and feared what might happen while I was out of the house. Each time I left for class he said he would hurt the children (then ages 9,11,14). He never did hurt them. He would check my clothes to see if i was wearing anything he considered sexy as he thought there was only one reason to go to college. I earned a 3.3 average and a BA and a MA, including a minor in Feminist teachings. My life changed for the better after that! I do not think your husband will change, I hope for you that you can somehow stand your ground and get away from the emotional abuse. You deserve better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • franz · March 16, 2015

      thank you so much Caroline….for sharing me your experience it’s shatters my soul how he did it to mewrecking everything even my name in public your story gives me encouragement to stand my ground .I’ve been thnking for change too if I won’t I will be forever lost.Thank you for caring me to share a piece of you it’s greatly appreciated. It’s great at age 45 you achieve your dream ….you’re an inspiration you make me hopeful .God bless you, friend.

      Like

  6. EmWell2 · March 29, 2015

    Don’t ever apologize for venting in an appropriate way. I find using writing to vent one of the best ways to feel better and figure things out. Keep doing it

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Bev · April 21, 2015

    Franz,
    What you describe is abuse. I googled “Philippines help for abuse victims” and found this site, http://aboutmyrecovery.com/domestic-violence-and-abuse-against-women/
    Years ago, I had a doctor look me in the eye and tell me, “You are not a victim.” He was not negating my situation, but what he meant was there are steps I could take no matter how impossible it appeared, so that I could escape the abuse when I was ready. From that point on I was empowered by knowing there was always a way out though it may not be easy.

    It is difficult to give you more specific directions because your spouse has access to your blog. You could change your password and start a new blog with a different name, under an alias name. You do have personal privacy rights within a marriage.

    Another thing you can do as you are taking other steps, is as I’ve suggested on my post, “Breaking Out of the Closet: Healing Childhood Abuse,” http://wp.me/p5KgD-CD
    is to focus on the feeling it brings up and offer yourself compassion. If you suffered childhood abuse, offer compassion to your inner child for such painful feelings it endured.

    You are Christian. God will guide you. I wish you well on your journey to freedom! And thank you for “liking” my post, “Cradle Nightmare.” -Beverly

    Liked by 1 person

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